I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize