Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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