He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
