I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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