I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
