I am puke
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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