I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Randomize
