really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
