wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
