I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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