I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
