You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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