Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
