i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
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