no you cant smoke seaweed
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
