Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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