There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
