Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
