I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
