me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize