I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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