did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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