I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
