before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
