i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
and she was petting her beer can
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
