16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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