wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
