i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
