Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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