if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
