i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
