Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I just want nice things and good sex
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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