Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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