Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
