Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
