I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I would fuck him just for his dog
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
