shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
We need to get me chipped asap
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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