Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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