M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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