Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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