Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
