Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Enjoy the penises
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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