You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
