I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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