yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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