hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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