Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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