Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
