This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
