Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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