the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
