So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
