i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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