A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
