she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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