i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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