i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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