i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
