Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
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