The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
