He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
