Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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